All by Myself
Raqiyyah Pippins

My heart was pure
Virgin to your words of deceit
Separate from the hurt my soul had endured
So I let go

Let go of the fear that consumed my mind and was set free to fly amongst the birds

But
For some reason
I decided to land 

Land on the branch of your tree of passion
Succumbing to the intoxicating elixir of your song.
Melting in your presence…feeling the heat of your fire.

But yet I feel so cold
So alone
So wronged

Tears flow down my cheeks and marinate my breast as my heart beats to the rhythm of a sorrowful song.
Sorry for caring
            Sorry for living
                        Sorry for being me

And I wonder how things got to be this way
When did your golden smile turn brass and the silver in your eyes begin to rust?
When did I become immune to the sedatives that once freed me from the pain?
When did our love become so deep that in me I could only feel you?

So I try and go back in time
            Walking, running, flying to the time when I was once free

Jumping off your branch
Letting go of my wings 
Swallowing all of the fears that once kept me so pure.

And I’m happy. Happy to fear…happy to be innocent…happy to be me because there is no pain. 
Happy to be me without feeling you…
Happy to be me… all by myself
         

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© 2000 Howard University. H. Patrick Swygert, President
(First Published in limited print edition by
The Composition for Honours Class, College of Arts and Sciences, Howard University, Spring 2000.)
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