Memories of the recent past,
the Bittersweet phase preceding this one,
are full of Contradictions.
They extend beyond distance and time.
Often they seem like Delusions, but yet
Still starkly Real in my mind.
Was the Sun out as I drove down
those familiar roads?
Only on the outside,
Beating down on the highway as fervently as
the Rain that beat down
on my heart.
My memories, the ones that re-play
in my mind like
Resurface in my waterlogged heart
like someone desperately trying
not to drown.
They frustrate me as they
Invade the spaces of my thoughts
that I had Reserved for
the important stuff
I fight the memories
I tell them
“I am Here now…not There
in the flat, lazy past.”
I plead with my memories.
“Let me go…please.”
But they Envelop me.
They set me adrift down a river
that feels like Beauty and Pain
at the same time.
Eventually, I give in.
I Welcome the memories because
I do not want to Resist.
I savor the bitter, acrid, curry taste of the days
that it rained on my heart,
in the same way that
I happily wrap my senses around
the sunshine on the road
and the breeze of ignorant bliss
that kissed my forehead.
Now I progress…
realizing what I should have/did not
© 2001 Iyelli Ichille