H O W A R D   U N I V E R S I T Y

Faces & Voices 5
An Anthology
of Verse and Prose

the Composition
for Honours Class,
Howard University,

E. R. B

Faces & Voices 4


Vaguely love
By Arin M. Lawrence

I vaguely remember being regularÖ
when my general reactions to stimuli were acceptable

But I experienced that wonderfully horrible thing called love
ónot real love, but the desire for it at least
That is why Iím now me

I lost myself someplace between sanity and insanity
And then I found myself still unsatisfied
I found myself searching for love

Not a real love, cause those donít exist
But that surreal love they talk about in the moviesÖ
The love that makes you want to do ďotherĒ things of un-normal quality or status

ÖSearching for love is a ritual Iíve got to get rid of
I need to rid myself of the thought, the theory
that love can be found

When it is sought after, it seeks refuge
óShelter under which it can hide
Been hiding from me for some time nowÖ

I want a real love but Iíve only known other kinds
and Iím so stuck on the possibility of love
Iíve been accepting fraud currency since day one

Love is a gift that I havenít allowed myself to receive
Ďcause even though I want it, I donít want my gift to be ingenuine

Iím ready for another day oneÖ

This day one, Iíll learn about love before I start to try love, before I think Iím loved
I will reflect on the love I want to be real
Iíll check with the creator of love

For what other love could determine real love?
The love that set me free will allow someone to love me for me
It will be a real love

© 2001 Arin M. Lawrence

© 2001 Howard University.
(First Published in limited print edition, An Anthology of Verse and Prose, by the Composition for Honours Class, Howard University, Spring 2001. Professor E.R. Braithwaite)
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